Choose Your Sleigh

"Jcarr" (jcarr) 12/22/2015 at 10:56 • Filed to: Oppo Questions

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Alright Oppo, you’ve been hired to replace Santa, who decided to retire after getting tired of ever-higher liability insurance premiums and repeated protests by PETA. The sleigh and reindeer have gone the way of the fat man, so your first (and most important) order of business is to choose a new present-delivery vehicle.

For the purposes of this exercise we’re going to assume a few things:

The vehicle is land-based, meaning no flying. You’ll get around each area on land and then teleport to the next continent, where an identical copy of your vehicle will await.

To level the playing field, let’s assume that there are paved roads leading to each and every point of delivery. That way you’re not limited to off-road vehicles or hoofing it from the road/path to the chimney.

Lastly, like the sleigh, cargo capacity is magically infinite, so it doesn’t matter if you choose a classic Mini or a Super B Train.

So, Oppo Clause, which vehicle do you choose for delivering toys and goodies to good girls and boys?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:00

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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:03

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The Bugatti Royale “Kellner” (chassis 5). Needs to be a closed cab, realistically - I don’t care if the Napoleon’s half-landau top is more sleigh-ish. There are very few car tasks I’d immediately jump to a type 35 for, but this is one of them.

Krieger (@FSKrieger22) > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:04

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CalzoneGolem > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 12/22/2015 at 11:04

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Yay, frostbite!

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:04

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It has wheels, I’ll just taxi it everywhere I need to go.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > CalzoneGolem 12/22/2015 at 11:06

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more presents for those in warmer climates

Jcarr > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/22/2015 at 11:06

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And if anyone tailgates, just give them a taste of ramjet!

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Krieger (@FSKrieger22) 12/22/2015 at 11:07

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I will second this one.

Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:07

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Confortable. Fast. Audi.

I think I should trademark that and force them to buy it off of me.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:09

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Because who doesn’t love it when their christmas gifts are soaked in jp-5 and hydraulic fluid?

Speed > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:09

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Guaranteed on time!

Tripper > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:10

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TheHondaBro > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:10

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Porsche was my first word > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:11

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Love this!

I had my go in a Ferrari FF. Because AWD is mandatory. Or maybe I take a Bentley Continental? Hm, have to test drive the to. Without a doubt is the color. Christmas red of course, speaks for the FF.

CalzoneGolem > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:11

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Like a couch on wheels baby!

Porsche was my first word > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 12/22/2015 at 11:11

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Wouldn’t fit Santa’s enourmos belly behind the wheel ...

Jcarr > Speed 12/22/2015 at 11:12

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With bonus cocaine!

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Porsche was my first word 12/22/2015 at 11:12

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but I’m replacing santa...and I’m as thin as a stick

Jcarr > TheHondaBro 12/22/2015 at 11:13

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Caleb "If a rally car can do it, so can my Malibu" M. S. > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 12/22/2015 at 11:13

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And if anyone asks what you are doinG you can give them THE ULTIMATE GROUND SPEED CHECK HNNNNNNNNNNG

Porsche was my first word > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 12/22/2015 at 11:13

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Nice pick. Reminds me of the Autobahnkurier by Isdera.

Toby F., Manager > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:15

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Lets be real here, they’re the real Santa’s of car enthusiasts. Delivering is also their business; and, the logistics would already be on my side (i.e. I wouldn’t need to load the truck; just hop in and drive!)

Toby F., Manager > Toby F., Manager 12/22/2015 at 11:16

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Edit: if I were a ups driver, I’d dress as Santa this week

Under_Score > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:16

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Land Cruiser.

Porsche was my first word > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 12/22/2015 at 11:19

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Didn’t you see Santa movies with Tim Taylor, err, Allen? As soon as yor are Santa you will develop a irresistable taste for milk an cookies and there you go ...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:19

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misfitmascots > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:19

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Justin Hughes > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:21

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Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:22

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I mean how else are you gonna get the presents from the mall parking lot to the trailer park?

Jcarr > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 12/22/2015 at 11:25

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Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:27

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Santa's got to ride in style. And comfort. Nothing soaks up the miles like an older Caddy. I'll go with a 74 Coupe DeVille.

El Rivinado > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 11:50

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One of the Longest production cars ever made. 1976 Cadillac Fleetwood 75

Amoore100 > Jcarr 12/22/2015 at 12:30

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Sweden is awfully close to the North Pole...

pip bip - choose Corrour > Jcarr 12/23/2015 at 03:02

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